'Are you not entertained?'
That was the famous line uttered by Russell Crowe in Gladiator with his Maximus Decimus Meridius character questioning why after such a dramatic display the watching crowd gave a rather muted reaction.
There was surely nothing muted about the reactions of England and Australia fans during a febrile day one of the latest Ashes battle.
The watching masses in Perth, and on TV sets around the world, were entertained, alright. The pre-match hype lived up to and more. This was Test cricket in fast-forward, even by England's standards.
Nineteen wickets fell, including one in the opening over of England's innings and one in the first of Australia's.
Five of those 19 were taken by England captain and talisman Ben Stokes. There were five ducks, too - Australia debutant Jake Weatherald bagged one as did England's greatest batter in Joe Root - and plenty of ducking as the seamers held sway.
Australia's Mitchell Starc struck seven times on his own, England's quicks shared nine breakthroughs between them as they hit Australia with 90mph potential after 90mph potential up front and then relied on Stokes to dispatch the lower middle order and tail.
The batting was not too hot at times, with England guilty of wafty drives as well as unintelligent attacking of the short ball as they lost their final five wickets for 12 runs to be torpedoed for 172.
That aggression against the banged-in ball is something they may have to park going forward as they look to fashion scores that will keep them afloat in games, with sixes not as easily accessible as they are in England due to the Australian ground dimensions.
If they can get themselves up to par totals then what we saw in the last-session-and-a-bit on day one that they have the bowling attack - one of the fastest they have ever assembled in Australia - to frazzle a less-than-secure Baggy Greens batting line-up.
Previous England sides may have been unable to bounce back from such a shocking batting output. Not this one.
The pace of Jofra Archer, Mark Wood, Gus Atkinson and Brydon Carse rattled the home side - the wicketless Atkinson hitting Steve Smith flush on the forearm - while when a partnership was beginning to blossom between Cameron Green and Travis Head from 31-4, you had a pretty good idea who was going to break it. The captain.
Not since his maiden Test hundred at Perth in December 2013, scored at The WACA, have Australia seen the best of Stokes in Australia. He missed the 4-0 drubbing in 2017/18 after the Bristol incident and battled injury in the 4-0 drubbing in 2021/22.
But this is perhaps now peak Stokes, particularly bowling-wise, for what will surely be his last tilt at Ashes glory overseas.
He looks fitter than ever after returning from a shoulder injury and it doesn't take a mastermind - - to realise Stokes is absolutely crucial to England's hopes over the coming weeks.
He didn't need magic deliveries to secure his wickets on Friday, but you sense his aura made Travis Head, Cameron Green and Alex Carey play loose shots they may not have done against a bowler without his presence, his snarl and his reputation as a game changer.
Stokes is box office and the opening day of this series was box office, too. If there were any fears that the cricket would not match the pre-series jibes, then they were quickly dispelled.
And there is still so much drama and intrigue to look forward to in the days and games ahead.
Will Root get the first Ashes ton Down Under - and will the West Australian newspaper review their claim that he is average if he does? Will Smith and Panesar exchange verbals again?
How much cricket will Pat Cummins and Josh Hazlewood play? Will England's pace attack last the course? Will any game last five days?
It looks highly unlikely this opening Test will last five days after a wicket-laden first one. The Ashes is back. The Ashes is brilliant.
You must have been entertained.
All times UK and Ireland
